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God Owes Us Nothing

photo by kristina paukshtite 

Today I did something that I noted I do way too frequently.

I regarded a gift that God gave me as small and insiginificant. 

For the last six months I've been praying a specific prayer. Asking God to supply me with what I felt was a need. I carved out space in my heart to make room for this desire and I gave it an abundant amount of my attention.

Did I get what my heart desired? Yes, but instead of reacting in a joyful manner full of praise and a spirit of thankfulness- I found myself slightly disappointed with the details, nervous about the logistics and stepping ahead of myself by projecting into the future, rather than being still and welcoming appreciation in my heart for the moment that was taking place in front of me. 

I then thought to myself, how often do I do this? So fixated on my needs and my wants, I forget that every gift that I receive will not come packaged to my liking, and no matter how big or small, nothing that is given to me is insignificant. Nothing that God provides me with is useless. Whatever adds value to my life is worthy of praise and acknowledgement. Who do I think I am to question how God chooses to deliver his blessings? Who do I think I am not to humble myself before him in a posture of  surrender and being open to what he provides me with?

Self reflection has been apart of my self care ritual. I am coming to realize that there are times in life where I fret and worry about things that God has already taken care of, but the problem is it is not to my level of satisfaction- I expect more, I desire more, I want more and then when I get what I want more seems like it is never enough.

This heart of mines needs to be tamed. We are saturated in a culture that has a spirit of expectation for fast turn arounds and an unsatisfied attitude toward the universes offerings. We are inpatient beings and we forget that God owes us nothing. We come naked and we go back home naked. All other offerings bestowed upon us are not from our labor, our good deeds or our accolades, but from the grace of God. 

As I work on being in tune with gratitude I've taken the time out to note some of the things I am grateful for. 

001: breath/life.

002: this season.

003: gaining my energy back.

004: going through the process of being healed from depression (speaking this into existence).

005: regaining my passion/desire to write again.

006: receiving a job.

Consider where your heart has been and how you've been receptive to the gifts God has blessed you with. Take a moment to reflect and express thanksgiving towards his mighty works and his offerings.

Written By,
Minaa B.

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