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The Lies We Feed Ourselves

photo by brandi redd

Learning and unlearning negative though patterns is how we thrive and tap into our greatest potential.

When I reflect and think about my trajectory, I notice that I fed myself many lies along the way that played a crucial part in my ability to attain happiness and live in the fullness of freedom. The inner critic tore me to shreds and I believed in the hateful words that I allowed my mind to release and in result affected my behaviors.

It's interesting to see how 9 times out of 10, the person who causes us the most harm is ourselves. We fill ourselves with so much toxicity when we give into hate, apathy and negativity. In order to give our lives its best chance we have to take a look on the inside and uproot the things that do not edify our spirits or affirm our potential and wellbeing.

When I reflect and think about the lies that lingered in my heart for most of my adolescent and young adulthood, I think of these three main issues.

I am not enough
It is natural for us as people to easily compare ourselves to others. We are exposed to individuals on an everyday basis who we often have lots in common with. When we see others advancing in areas of our lives that we feel stagnant in, this can cause us to develop feelings of envy and jealousy, and also a sense of low worth and questioning why them and not you. The inner negative voice begins to make you feel as if it's not your turn because you are not good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough and continue to fill in the blank.

When you recognize your uniqueness and that you are set apart, you learn that you are truly enough because you realize you have nobody to compete with. No one else in this world has your finger print. No one else in this world can intricately match your identity. Everything is not about appearance of achievements. When you focus on the fact that you have the greatness and potential to be who you desire to be through perseverance, patience and effort, you understand that value and worth is not something that can be bought, painted on or borrowed. It comes from within. It comes from first making a choice that you are worthy and the shift in that mindset will help you to make decisions that align with your beliefs.

My mistakes are a result of the type of person that I am
In life I have made plenty of mistakes, and to be honest, I don't think I know anyone who hasn't. I've learned that I can choose to wallow in my sorrows over messing up, or I can just pick myself up off the floor and move forward being mindful of my errors and learning how to right my wrongs. Too often, I come across people who believe that because they made a huge mistake, it's because they are a mistake. If they forget something by accident or have a tendency to mess something up they label themselves as disorganized and a klutz. or, I come across people in the work field who if they missed a deadline or arrived somewhere 5 minutes late, automatically they consider themselves unprofessional and incapable to get the job done. It's this kind of thinking that is ruining us.

What ever happened to showing yourself grace? People do not have enough wisdom, experience and knowledge of life to ever NOT make a mistake. The important thing here is to know that your circumstances do not define you. If you mess up at something, the brave thing to do is to admit your wrongs and make the necessary steps to learn and unlearn behaviors that will provide you with sustainability and growth. The best place to look when you are trying to break free of bad habits is to look at your record of mistakes, and realize that they didn't take place to define your overall existence, they took place to help strengthen you and add to your growth process. In your weaknesses is where you will find healing. In your sadness is where you will uncover happiness. In your mistakes is where you will stumble upon life greatest lessons.

I am not worthy of being loved
I am not sure who shamed you or made you feel small in life, but I want you to know that you are worthy of love and acceptance by default. You are a living being and you were made with the intention of being loved on just as much as you love on others. A lot of the time, we get negative seed planted in our heart by heart break, failed connections or childhood abandonment and it causes us to believe that those negative outcomes are a result of us not being worth the time or effort. I want you to know that regardless of the hardships that you face in life, love is always on your side. There is no qualification check box where you have to meet all of the requirements in order to be loved or feel deserving of love. It comes rooted within loving and knowing who you are and that the universe does not discriminate.

Take some time to reflect and think about the thoughts that do not align with your greatness. Be mindful of your thoughts and break free of those patterns that do not elevate your spirit.

Written by,
Minaa B.

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